At some point I do need to play tournaments again.

I’ve had various excuses for why not.

I must admit that it is fun to protect my rating.

The banter of it.

For the longest time, my truth was that I didn’t have the time. The capacity.

That is part of it.

I also knew I didn’t want to compete in that space.

I knew what it took to mentally get to that space.

I was never a show up and wing it dude at events. I played those courses in my sleep.

Until I knew every line I might take.

I was prepared to compete.

It takes a level of motivation that is uncomfortable to live in. 

Blind obedience to prove that you could do it.

A tight rope of mental gymnastics.

For the first week of Roy G league I ended up playing with the final card of players because there was only 2 of them.

Primarily as an official, but also to test myself.

Half way through, I had assured myself I didn’t want to compete that day.

A few good shots but overall lackluster.

I repeated the same phrases a week later.

My war stories.

I showed up to play the TCR tag match at Sprinkle Valley this past Sunday.

Hole 1…missed the Mando. I don’t think I had done that in any competitive round before.

Ok let’s go over the top to save the 4. Nope.

Pitch. Putt. Whiff. Really good straddle comeback for over a bush for 6.

Hole 2. Short to short. Turnover Lobster. Eagles dare. Nope.

pitch. Putt. 3.

Ego play.

Not golf.

Hole 3. Short to short. Hyzer mid off the tee. Long. Hung it right.

Spin putt. Almost.

From the rain pond. 

Over the top.

Pond.

Doink.

6.

Done. No compete.

I went so far as declaring I was done. 

I joked that I could go 636 for the entire course.

I hadn’t gotten off the tee clean yet and was +5 after 3 holes…with 2 holes from the shorts.

Thats not 1003.

That’s the Ego.

I had made a good putt on 1. So something was clicking.

Focus was possible.

Was I willing to compete?

Leading by example is weird in disc golf.

I’m better at throwing a disc than I am at business and people.

It’s a lot easier when that is all you have to show as an example too.

Fuck it.

Let’s try to compete.

This picture doesn’t tell the whole story.

I was testing out a new bag.

I had some new discs.

That Sublime Lobster and Glow Profit are nice. They are staying in the bag.

The par is also off.

I started to find a rhythm.

I tried playing golf.

One shot at a time.

The history didn’t matter.

Make the next shot you take the best you can.

Compete. Score.

Remember the motion.

Golf.

Enjoy competing.

Come back to win the #1 tag.

It wasn’t for money or anything.

No one else will remember that day like I do.

I played what felt like 975 golf. 

But I hadn’t tasted that ability to dig down in a while. Find balance. Compete. Prove it.

If I choose to prove to myself I can compete again, then that Sunday round is a part of the new mental fabric.

Lead by example.

I need to play more.

I need to work how I used to want to play.

Hungry.

Motivated.

In love with it.

Competing.

Prepared.

Mint.

Enjoy Mint.