This is a brain dump blog.

There is one question I get every day.

Every day.

"When are you going to play tournaments again?"

For the last few years I have always given people the answer they want to hear. I told them "soon". I would practice for a week before Mint priorities took over for two months and I was rusty again.

The cycle keeps repeating.

Soon was never being honest with myself.

I used to wake up every day and think about playing.

I had my bag and a change of clothes in my car. I was always ready to play. If something needed to be thrown, I was in.

I knew what course I was going to. I knew where I was traveling on the weekend to go play. 

I knew exactly what shots I was going to practice.

I was obsessed with throwing a disc.

Figuring out how to get better at it.

I spent years mastering spinning a disc on my finger using only one hand.

Totally obsessed.

I was infatuated by disc design and how shapes affected flight.

I used to be able to guess a disc by feel with my eyes closed. I probably can still guess it for 99% of discs released before 2015.

You could hold up a disc 10 yards away and I knew what it was. Even for discs from the 80s and 90s. I found ways to study them. Learn about them. Understand them.

If a new disc came out, I was at Disc Nation feeling it.

I was there talking to ZAM, and Shannon and Sean and Phil. Even when I had just finished working a shift at Disc Nation. I was still there playing and talking and soaking it all in.

I'm pretty sure I used the driving range at the OG location more than anyone.

Even when I quit working there, I was still there.

I was a disc golf nerd.

This blog made me realize that those things are no longer my passions.

I no longer wake up and think about going to play a course at 5pm.

I no longer go to sleep with anxiety about that tournament tomorrow.

I no longer build my day around actually throwing a disc.

I no longer care about how good I putt.

To be honest, I don't really miss any of it.

I am obsessed with other things. I still love disc golf. I still love playing.

But playing is a waste of my time. I just don't have the space in my life for it.

I want Mint to be large enough so that Guy and myself don't have to manage so much of it every day.

I want someone else to run our events. I want to hire actual art and marketing directors for Mint.

I want the Central Texas scene to be represented and well organized.

I want the Central Texas community to host majors together. As one community, not just under Mint.

I want us to continue to add new courses and improve the ones we already have.

I want to improve our relationships with parks departments and city councils.

I want to find ways to give back to other causes and non-disc golf charities.

I want anyone who has a spark, or idea or inspiration to know they have resources they can lean on to make that idea a reality.

I want to help connect those dots. 

I want to stop saying I. 

We need to obsesses over these things. 

So yeah, I have no clue when I will play a tournament again.

I wake up thinking about these other things. Worrying about potential problems that aren't problems yet. Coming up with new ways to bring disc golf to the world.

I want to dream about throwing again.

I want to prove I can keep my 1003 rating.

I want to prove I am still the farthest thrower in Austin.

I want to be able to say yes to every round someone asks me to play.

I want to be excited to throw a new run of Mint again.

That's all still down inside of me somewhere. 

Those are the things that got me here. That passion for throwing a disc is what started us all on this journey.

I just need to get all of this other stuff out of my head. Then I'll have time to think about throwing again.

There will be plenty of time to play.

Disc Golf isn't going anywhere. Austin is just getting started.

To be honest, I almost ended the blog there.

I went down a path I never intended with that conversation.

What I wanted to say was that this blog and Mint have become my daily round.

This blog is an outlet for me to put all of those thoughts on paper. I look forward to writing this blog way more than I do to throwing a disc.

So you want to know when I'll play again? When this blog demands it.

When I have nothing else to do but wake up and dream about throwing a disc again.

We'll get there eventually. I believe it.

Until tomorrow.